Hello, old friend

Well hello there.

Remember me?

There have been so many moments over the last couple of months that I wanted to stop and write for a few minutes, but somehow those moments slipped through my fingers without them reaching for the keyboard. Or this particular keyboard at least.

It’s been a busy few months and they’re only getting busier. I’m moving in less than two months. As I write this I’m a little distracted by the moving truck parked outside my window and all the associated activity. They’re cleaning out the unit below me and getting everything out now that the unit has sold. The owner passed away rather suddenly last year and her unit sat empty for a long time. As I watch the truck fill up I can’t help but think about all the things I need to do before a truck pulls up to pack up my belongings and move them to our new home.

It’s almost exhausting to even think about, but exciting as well. If you read any of my posts from August and September of 2020 you may remember that my last moving experience was not without drama, delays, and obstacles. But this move is shaping up to be quite the opposite. Since I am a spreadsheet person, my checklists were already being used weeks ago, and the sorting and purging are almost complete. The big thing left to do is pack.

S and I each have our own to-do lists as we figure out how to merge our two single-person households best. We don’t need two kettles, of course, but which to keep? His couch or mine? My dishes or his? But it’s been fun working through it and sharing ideas of how to make the new place “ours.”

We’ve had several conversations about what it might be like to live together. We’ve both loved being on our own and having our own places. It surprises me to write this. It wasn’t all that long ago that I was miserable at the thought of living by myself. But this place, this nest, has been my sanctuary. It’s where I came to heal and meditate and recover and come back to myself.

I’m going to miss it. I’m going to miss the cardinals that hang out in the tree outside my kitchen. I’m going to miss all the birds I can hear singing in the trees. I’m going to miss the giant magnolia tree that grows into my deck.

But in our conversations about this, we’ve also asked each other what if we don’t like living together? What would that mean for us? Would that be the end? Neither of us thinks that’s necessarily true. Maybe it would simply mean that one (or both of us) likes having our space to retreat to. It wouldn’t mean that we don’t love each other. So rather than buy a home together we’re taking a smaller step of renting a place with a one-year lease. We’re going into this with an open and realistic mind. The place we’re moving to offers us plenty of room so we’re not forced to have to be in the same room together if one of us needs a little space. Do I expect I will need this space? Maybe not, since he will be away all day at work while I work from home. At least for most of our first year there. If anything, he may need a little space to unwind when he gets home. But I respect that and I’m prepared to do my best to give him that space.

The next few months are going to be busy. So busy that I did not even think about making my annual birthday trip (annual now that I’ve done it two years in a row 🙂 ). Between getting ready to move and a week-long trip back to Virginia for work, I wasn’t planning on being able to get away, but just the other day S booked us a long weekend getaway before my work trip, so we’re headed back to Savannah after all.

Having something to look forward to is important. Dinner out at a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try. A concert. New music from a favorite artist. A weekend getaway. A new life with a person you care about.

I’m looking forward to so much these days. It makes it so easy to stop looking back.

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