There’s a whole lot going on in my world right now. Some of it is happy, joyful exciting, special. Some of it is not.

I became an abuelita less than two weeks ago. This baby has been in the making for a long while now and she is so loved, so cherished, so beautiful. I have referred to myself as a grandmother before, because my ex-husband was a grandfather, but as much as I love those little ones, two of which I haven’t met yet, we all know it’s not the same. This little one has my genes, and that is very evident in her little button nose and her head full of hair. My dad would have been swooning over her, and so happy for my daughter. I wish he could have met her.

I’m figuring out my role in her life, wanting to spend time with her and her parents, help where and when I can, without getting in their way. When I moved here I wasn’t sure if it would be my forever home, but I knew I wanted to stay close to my children. Now I have an additional reason to stay close.

Which brings me to the not-so-exciting event going on in my life.

S is moving. To Savannah.

Now you know I love Savannah. It’s where I went on my first solo trip. It’s where I’ve gone to spend my birthday in the last few years. I don’t have a problem with the location, other than the fact that it’s not exactly around the corner.

I was re-reading one of my earlier blogs from before we moved in together. It served as a reminder that we knew going into this that we might not live together forever. While I didn’t expect that I would not like living with him, I knew there was a distinct possibility that he might change his mind because I knew how much he valued his private space. I guess after we renewed our lease a year in I thought the possibilities had shrunk. There are several reasons for his decision, and I’m not going to go into them, but I do respect all of them. As I said earlier, the move wouldn’t bother me so much if it wasn’t to a place four hours away.

I’ve had many sleepless nights since the moving wheels were put into motion. He knows I’m upset about the move, and is trying to make it as painless as possible. We’re trying to think of the Savannah place as “our second home,” closer to the beach. I want to spend as much time there as I can, and I want him to spend time here. But because it’s not around the corner, I’m worried that each month, each week, it will become easier to say “I can’t make it this week… how about next week?” I didn’t exactly sign up for a long-distance relationship.

Of course the move has brought about the additional stress of separating our things again, and in my case, buying new furniture after I gave away or sold most of mine two years ago. But while that has been stressful, and expensive, it’s also been a fun distraction. I’ve enjoyed figuring out what style I want in what is now “my” space. And being able to pay for it all myself feels really good.

So, I’m trying to be positive. I enjoyed living on my own before, having my own space. Now I get to do that again, with new furniture and my own style, whatever that ends up being. I have my family nearby, with a brand-new granddaughter to spoil and love. And I do have a man that loves me. I can look forward to seeing him, rather than taking him for granted.

He was away on my birthday last month but sent me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. After the blooms faded and wilted I tossed them away but noticed that one of the roses had some new growth on the stem. I decided to hang on to this stem and see what happens.