I started working on a new poem this afternoon, but then as I was writing the words didn’t really seem to fit. I was trying to write about a particular subject but the words that ended up on the page were about something else. I think there are two different poems that are forming and there’s an internal battle going on in my head (or my heart) to see which one comes out first. I’ve set it aside for now. We’ll see which one makes it out first.
In the meantime, I’m making progress on the next stage of my new life. I’ve finally got a plan for moving. I’m moving 450 miles away so that takes a little bit of planning. I’ve never seen the place I’m moving to in person (I’ve been to the city once though) so I guess that’s a giant and brave step, right? My kids will be nearby so it’s not like I’m moving somewhere where I don’t know anyone. It will be easier being a single woman there rather than in a place where I’m mostly known as someone’s wife. I won’t be running into people who just want to ask me how he’s doing, not noticing my bare ring finger.
I’ve started packing but still have over a month to go before the big move. I’m not changing jobs so at least I don’t have to stress about that. I’ll be working from my new home and I’m already thinking about how to set up my space to make it as creative and functional as possible. I’ve purchased a laptop that I can use when I feel like doing some creative writing somewhere other than my little apartment. I’m looking forward to finding a cool coffee shop or place to hang out and do some people watching and writing.
I’ve been watching some videos on writing and I just bought a big anthology of short stories. Since writing is something that we both love to do (and he has much to teach me on the subject) we have a shared Google folder just for that. We’ll share resources and ideas, and edit and proof each other’s work. He actually helped me quite a bit with my Kettle poem. Photography is still my first love, but if I look back at things I did growing up, writing was there too.
I completed the 30 days of yoga challenge in June, and while I haven’t practiced every day this month, a week hasn’t gone by that I haven’t rolled out the mat at least a couple of times. Some days it helps me clear my head and other days it gives me room to feel all the emotions and find a little peace and comfort by just breathing in and out.
A pandemic is strange, crazy, and scary. Separation and divorce is depressing, sad, and lonely. Put those together and what do you get? A desolate and dismal situation. But we’re both trying to do what we can to make it less so. We check in with each other to see how we’re doing and we talk and even laugh together. We’re friends. We do still love each other and want each other to be happy. We’re just going to have to do this separately.