When I started my job about twenty five and a half years ago, I didn’t think I would make it through my probationary period. I was intimidated by the technical aspect. I knew nothing about engineering, air compressors, or industrial equipment. This was a much bigger organization than any I’d ever worked for, except for my summer internship for the Panama Canal Company, or in college. My boss was German, one known to be difficult to work with and for. And it’s a German company, with much of the information that I was supposed to manage in German. It probably goes without saying, but I didn’t, and still don’t, speak German.
But after my trial period I was still around. A year later, still hanging in there, finding my way, and figuring things out. Twenty-five years later, I’ve moved from the technical to the marketing side of the company, and doing well. I never expected to still be here in 2020. I came close to leaving once or twice, either to look for a new opportunity, or because of some internal and external factors. But it’s been the most stable thing in my life over those 25 years.
When I saw this week’s bloom it reminded me that I’ve been afraid before (more times than I can count) and many times things really do go right.
What could go right? I could love my new home. Or my spirit could take flight and find new spaces to roam. I could discover new vocations, find surprising hidden talents, and start new traditions. I think I'm up to the challenge. Love could catch me by surprise when it thinks I'm ready. It could take several tries. That's okay. I'm holding steady.