The prompt was “signed, sealed, delivered.” We could write a story about pen pals, set it in a post office, or write it in the form of a letter of multiple letters back and forth. Immediately, I knew what I wanted to do. I was going to continue Jenny’s story. I wrote almost one thousand words in one sitting. But then, after that initial flurry of words appeared on the page, words that came quickly because they were very close to actual words we wrote to each other three years ago, I paused and reconsidered.
Why was I writing this? Who was I writing this for? Did I really need to continue Jenny’s story? When I first wrote about “Jenny,” it was cathartic. I took a few creative liberties, but we all know Jenny’s story was my story. Or it was in 2020 and part of 2021. But it’s not now and hasn’t been for some time.
I have to be honest and tell you that it bums me out more than just a little that my current state of mind and heart doesn’t inspire me to write. When I was angry, depressed, and heartbroken I had lots of words to say and I was pretty prolific but by no means profound. But I think it did help me at the time. Being happy, comfortable, and at peace hasn’t resulted in a lot of new material for this blog.
I’m not doing anyone any favors by continuing to write about that woman: not Jenny’s ex, not S, and most importantly, not me. Writing about the past, even if it’s a fictionalized account for a short story prompt, puts me back in a space where I don’t need to be. I don’t need to go back to that time because where I am right now is exactly where I need to be.
So as tempting as it was, I did not finish that story and therefore did not have anything to submit. So what did I do instead? I went on vacation, traveled for work a couple of times, and continued living my best life! I’ve been busy! As someone once advised me not all that long ago…. forward, always forward.