When I See Your Name

I don't like how I feel now when I see your name.
I looked for it for so long, but it's a habit I overcame.
But now when I see it, I feel anxious, I feel stress.
It takes me back  in time several months, I'll confess.

At least my first instinct isn't to drop everything to read
what you have to say. I tend to move at a slower speed.
But each time I open even the briefest note
with just a few words, my heart is in my throat.

I'm cutting cords and letting strings go.
I'm trying not to think about you much.
I'm cutting cords and letting you go.
I don't think about you quite so much.

The pain has eased but there's still a thread or two
holding me back and making me blue.
Maybe it's time to go back and do it again,
and set my heart and soul free from this chain.

I'm going to close my eyes, go back down those stairs
and into that room. I'm prepared for the tears,
because they help me release that stress.
Crying's always been part of my process.

I'm cutting cords and letting strings go.
I'm trying not to think about you much.
I'm cutting cords, and letting you go.
I don't think about you, quite so much.

I'm cutting the cord.
I've let you go.
I really don't think about you.
Not much.