It’s been a good week, mostly. I had a rough day earlier this week, missing my dad. I’m not sure how to explain it but the timing of everything that happened last year made it even harder than it would have been to deal with it. Because he passed away just days after finding out the truth about the end of my marriage, it’s possible I haven’t completely dealt with either of these events. I’ve been ping-ponging back and forth from the feelings of both losses. I haven’t been able to just focus on one, until now maybe.
I’ve packed up the items that were triggering the feelings of regret and sadness about the end of my marriage. I’m not sure what I’m doing with them yet, but they’re out of sight (and hopefully out of mind). Now that I’ve had a little time to process that it’s over and there’s nothing left to discuss, I’m doing better. I’m still willing to have him as my friend, and writing advisor/editor, but the ball’s on his court. It might not happen and I have to accept that.
As far as my dad goes, I don’t think I will feel like I’ve said goodbye until I can go home again and do it there, with my family. I hope I can get there this year. Until then I will continue to play the music that reminds me of him and share memories of him with my family.
This week l left my nest a few times and breathed in lots of fresh air. I’ve been chatting with a couple new friends, and I took the camera out to the zoo, hoping to get a good shot of the new baby giraffe. Here are a couple that aren’t the greatest, but best I could get considering that she wasn’t being the most cooperative in terms of posing for me and the rest of her adoring fans. The neighbor next door was so over it….
I also had another first date this week: lunch and a short walk in a nearby park afterwards. I have some more thoughts on these new dating experiences and opportunities, but I think I’m going to save them for a future post and let these thoughts develop further.