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Meh (or a look back at 2019)

Remember when I claimed to be back at this whole blogging thing? Three posts in one year doesn’t make for a prolific blogging year, does it?

I had good intentions, but I’ve spent the last three months with balls of yarn on my lap, a hook in my hand, and my head down as I tried to complete what I thought was an impossible challenge: five afghans by Christmas. I started in September and finished the last one a week before Christmas. Yes, I’m patting myself on the back. Then for bonus points I added one mini (baby!) blanket to the mix and finished that just two days before Christmas. 🙂

As I was preparing to wrap these up I thought about the times I had to re-start, pull out rows of work to start over, bring in new yarn, wait patiently (mostly) for new yarn to arrive so I could continue working, or adapt the pattern when I ran into trouble. They’re not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. You can see the flaws if you look even just a little more closely. Sounds a lot like life, doesn’t it?

It’s been an up and down year for me. There were plenty of good times and I made some new friends. Got plenty of stuff done at work. Listened to a whole lot of Beatles music. But overall: meh. I wish I’d done more. I always wish I’d taken more pictures. Written more. Stretched my (creative and literal) muscles further. I could have set bigger goals for myself.

This morning I was listening to a song from one of my favorite Christmas albums ever, Abriendo Puertas by Gloria Estefan, and the lyrics of the title song reached out to me:

y vamos abriendo puertas,
y vamos cerrando heridas.
porque en el año que llega
vamos a vivir la vida.
y vamos abriendo puertas,
y vamos cerrando heridas.
pasito a paso en la senda
vamos a hallar la salida.

and we are opening doors,
and we are closing wounds.
because in the year that arrives
let’s live our life.
and we are opening doors,
and we are closing wounds.
step by step on the path
let’s find the exit.

What am I looking for in 2020? I’m hoping to let some wounds heal and close for good. I’m going to see what’s behind doors number two and three and maybe four and five. I would like to get a little perspective, take a break maybe. See what’s out there. Keep learning and figure out how not to write in cliches. Wish me luck. Again.

What are your goals for 2020?

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