Last night as I brushed my teeth and prepared to go to bed, I had some ideas for a blog post, possibly a Thanksgiving-themed post. I even had a few lines drafted in my head. Rather than going to the laptop or putting those thoughts down somewhere, however, I crawled into bed hoping I would remember them in the morning. No such luck.
Did my ideas have anything to do with gratitude, transformations (because that’s the photo challenge this week), the holidays, work, family? Quite possibly. I’m sure, though, that they were brilliant and insightful and very well thought-out. Which is not what’s going on right now.
Right now I’m struggling a bit.
Not just with this blog post, but with so much of life in general. Don’t get me wrong: I’m thankful for all I have. I do have a pretty good life. I’m seeing more little signs that I’m getting older, but that still beats the alternative, right? I have a loving and supportive spouse. I live in a comfortable house that’s pretty much perfect for the two of us. I enjoy my work and I have some hobbies that bring me joy when I find the time for them.
So what’s the struggle about?
Finding time for creativity. Having enough concentration to read a book. Putting the phone down long enough to read that book. Finding the motivation to go for a walk.
Politics, some of it too close for comfort. I can do a little bit about the politics in our government. I voted a couple weeks ago and was pleased with the results across my state. As far as the stuff closer to home, I have to resign myself that there’s not much I can do about it. They say life’s not fair, right? I don’t have to like it though, and I’ve done enough of “grin and bear it” in my life to know what happens when you do that for too long. For now, I’m waiting and hoping situations change.
Parenting; knowing when to push, when to pull, and when to let go. This is what tears at me every day. I’m playing a very difficult waiting game right now, hoping and wishing for a sign that things will turn around. It’s even hard to write about without getting more than just a bit misty-eyed. Still trying to stay optimistic, though. He’ll come around. His sister did.
On this Thanksgiving Day, I’m also thankful for friendships and will try to nurture them, feed them, and help them grow. Who knows? Maybe it’s not too late to find that community we’ve been looking for.
I’m also thankful for family and looking forward to Christmas and spending time with my dad and his wife. It will be the first time we’ll spend Christmas together since 1995, I think. I’m looking forward to hosting them and wondering how close I can come to having the kind of Christmas I grew up with: a house filled with family, friends, food, and music. As an introvert, I’m thankful for quiet days to think and read and write. But I’m also thankful for days filled with laughter and music.
So, this was another long, rambling post. Did I remember what I wanted to write about? I’m not sure. Maybe I got a few things out of my system but didn’t necessarily say them very well. (I’m a little distracted; not by my phone this time but by the Vikings game on the radio. Go Vikes!)
So I’ll just close by wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving. Hoping the upcoming holidays are full of everything that brings you joy.